Are you experiencing sadness or feelings of despair? What is the cause? Are you in an abusive situation, or are you regularly exposed to violence on social media?
You don’t need to feel this way, and in fact, it’s an unhealthy way to exist. Amid a pandemic, frequent exposure to violence, and lies on the TV and social media, it’s not uncommon to become desensitized to violence or experience feelings of despair.
If you recognize that it’s time for you to make a change, read on for a valuable story and a guided meditation to help improve your current circumstances. There is always hope.
My Troubled Neighbor
When I think about being confused and desensitized to abuse, I remember Terry, my neighbor. We lived in an old 1920’s brick apartment building, where two lions regally guarded the entrance. I loved that apartment; although it was a tiny studio, it was cute, classic, and comfortable.
One evening at dusk, as the fall’s coolness was settling into the air, I walked towards my unit and saw my neighbor coming from the opposite direction, her hand in a cast. She was a good-natured, attractive woman, and as we approached each other, we smiled in a natural greeting.
“Hey,” I inquired, looking at her left hand, “What happened to you?”
“I fought with my boyfriend last night. He got really mad. He grabbed my thumb and pulled it back to my wrist. Oh, my God! It hurt so much! He did it in front of my son, too,” she replied.
I imagined the scene; she would be screaming, her six-year-old son crying, and an angry man yelling obscenities at them both as he broke her thumb.
“You know, you don’t have to let him do that to you,” I said.
“I tried to stop him, but he is stronger than me,” my kind neighbor replied. At the time, I had recently escaped from a relationship not nearly as violent as that; I thought I knew what to say.
I clarified my comment, “Well, I mean, you don’t have to let him live with you.” Of course, she would agree with me.
“Well, other than this,” she held up her cast, “he is fine.”
Terry’s answer startled me. What did she mean “other than this, he is fine”?
My neighbor’s situation was extreme and clear to most people that she was in an abusive relationship, so why wasn’t it obvious to her? I knew that she was kind and intelligent. How could she think he was fine other than the fact that he was abusive?
I didn’t condemn her because I knew she felt trapped in an abusive situation that seemed impossible to leave. Abusive relationships are insidious; they start with “No one else will ever love you” or “No one else can protect you.” These lies are repeated so many times you cannot help but believe them. Many people have experienced that to some degree or another.
Have you ever had that thought about someone in your life? “Other than this, he or she is fine?” Have you ever allowed someone in your life to cross a line, over and over, so often that you barely care or even notice anymore? Do friends warn you that they are dangerous, and you defend their actions because of “love” or duty or financial reasons?
What about accepting people regardless of what they do out of habit? Perhaps someone in your life frequently lies to you. If they lie so much that it doesn’t even matter anymore, you have become desensitized. You’re accepting the skewed reasoning that “other than that, they are fine.”
If this sounds like you, you are not alone. This is what we do as humans; we get so wrapped up in someone, so invested in their lives, that we may not see what is so clear to many others.
We do this with our partners, but we also do it with those who aren’t family. An example is a politician or a celebrity. Do we reason away the fact that a public figure has committed sexual assault, lies, or is a racist simply because they’re a celebrity and “other than that, they are fine?”
I have often wondered, did my neighbor ever disengage from this hurtful person? Even when we find ourselves trapped in a circular thinking pattern, there is always a way out. I pray that she found hers.
How Do We Gain Clarity?
Your gut feeling tells you it’s time to move on, how do you disengage from those who hurt you, either directly or indirectly?
Einstein once famously quoted, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” So how do we change our thinking?
To change our lives, we must first have a vision of our desired future and then take action.
Vision: A Guided Meditation
Connecting to the Heart Self through meditation opens the mind to the wisdom and the love of the universe. Try this three minute guided meditation and then sit in the peace of the moment afterward. Allow the love, the Divine that you truly are, to speak.
Close your eyes and breathe in and out slowly three times. Breathe in through your nose, purse your lips, and exhale through your mouth.
Gently place your hand or your fingers on your heart center.
Remember a moment in life when you felt a love that was so profound that it brought tears to your eyes. Relive the moment, and feel it. Keep breathing in through the nose and out through your mouth.
Now imagine your heart as a glowing ball of light.
Feel it glowing and growing, expanding until the flight fills your body and
Fills the room.
Like sunlight, it permeates all being.
It is the passion light of the universe,
The light that knows no shadow.
It is you.
Rest in the bliss that is you,
Feel and experience Divine Love as your expression of being.
Action
Create a new filter of discernment. Make love and humor a priority in your life.
Engage with people, books, entertainment, and social media that makes you feel good. If someone doesn’t bring you joy appears on TV, change the channel. I prefer TV shows wherein the characters demonstrate love, sweetness, and laughter. That’s my filter, and I feel better when I adhere to it.
Remember that taking a mental health break and disconnecting yourself from the news or social media is not wrong or irresponsible.
Reconnect with Your Emotions
If you find yourself feeling sad, do not despair, you are not alone, and there is a way out. By utilizing this guided meditation and limiting your exposure to toxic people, social media and television, you can start finding your way back to genuine emotions.
When the Heart Self speaks, love is the language. Listen to the wisdom of your beating heart.
Do you want to learn more about the Heart Self? Follow us on social media, and feel free to contact us here.