Dr. Wayne Dyer once famously wrote, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” This idea sounds lovely, but did you ever wonder, “How do I do that? How do I change the way I look at someone who’s pushing my buttons? Will this change anything?”
Are you annoyed or frustrated? Do you want to be calmer? Do you wish there was a magic formula that you could use that would help you change your viewpoint?
In this story, I will discuss an intriguing thought experiment. Try this meditation, and see if it helps you. I tried it, and it worked like magic!
My Morning Meditation
It was a cold, white morning after a heavy snowfall. As I sipped my steaming coffee, I gazed out to see tree limbs covered in white, a beautiful contrast to the dark bark. Surrounded by this peaceful environment and listening to 528hz music, I started my morning meditation.
As I settled into my breathing, I felt my Heart Self guiding my visualization. It felt comfortable and sweet, so I followed along. Read on to learn about what I discovered.
I entered a large room where a party was going on. It was a party like no other. Feelings of love and appreciation overwhelmed me as I “walked” around greeting and reconnecting with loved ones. I was surprised to find that everyone I knew, everyone I had ever met, was in this room with me. We were laughing and remembering fondly the wonderful times we had. It felt like one of my family reunions where the love is palatable. Laughter, cheer, and happiness filled my heart. It was a delightful place to be.
In this visualized world, sometimes people would leave the party, put on their costumes, and go “downstairs” to explore different experiences. They left the room to play the parts of husbands and wives, lawyers and clients, mothers, sons, etc. Then they would go back to the party and enjoy each other’s company.
A woman appeared in my mind who happens to be one of my most annoying tenants. Here in the party room, though, she was an old friend, and we loved each other. How could I explain her dual nature? Her nastiness and her love?
I remember thinking then, “Oh! She’s just playing the part of an annoying tenant; I’m just playing the part of a frustrated landlord, and she’s actually someone I love.” This exercise allowed my heart to soften towards her.
During this meditation, Shakespeare’s monologue in As You LIke It became clear to me. “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players.” I know that lawyers will battle each other in court on a Friday afternoon and chat as friends on Saturday morning as they watch their children play soccer. It is not so hard to imagine that we, too, put on our costumes and play our parts “downstairs,” but then return to the party as loving friends.
When my meditation was over, I turned on my phone to find that my annoying tenant had left me a voicemail during my meditation. “How funny,” I thought, “that she would call me while I was thinking about her in my meditation.” I listened to her stern voice tell me that no one had shoveled their walk yet. (It was still extremely early, by the way.) If it is possible to say the words “Merry Christmas” with a tone of voice that meant “drop dead,” she succeeded that morning.
“Grrrrr,” I thought, but then I surprised myself. Instead of my hair bristling, as it usually would have, I remembered my visualization, and I just thought, “Oh, right! She’s just ACTING like a disgruntled tenant.”
I was delighted to discover how unimportant her actions were when I imagined she was only pretending to be nasty. She was simply exploring that role.
As if to challenge my assumptions, that afternoon she called me AGAIN! This time, the recycling was never picked up, which was a credible problem, in her defense.
I immediately made a phone call to an old friend who ran the non-profit recycling business we use. He got back to me shortly, saying that they could not get in because she had changed the locks. He got the new key from the woman and emptied the room within an hour. What an easy fix! I haven’t heard from her since.
I wonder now, months later, if the change in my attitude towards her might have changed her attitude towards me. Does it matter? It was simply “Poof!” and she did not annoy me anymore.
Rise to the Challenge
Here’s the challenge: Meditate into your own Heart Self and participate in the party. Fill yourself with love and appreciation. Enjoy that for a while and see if someone pops into your mind who has been driving you crazy. Bring them into the party room with you. See them without their costumes, without their masks. Remember, they are just playing a part in a play. Imagine a pleasant time with them, perhaps enjoy a drink and a laugh.
The next time they do something that presses your buttons, remind yourself, ”He/She’s not really (fill this in), they’re just acting like it.”
Then sit back and watch the change.
Share your experiences with us on our guest writers page. We’d love to hear from you.
Love and blessings to all!